If you’ve been following my blog for a while now, you know that I’ve had long hair for the greater part of my life. I started growing it out around fifth grade because I always had short hair when I was younger. My mom always cut it into a bob to thicken it up because I had thin hair when I was a wee little tot, and that backfired because now I have enough hair to share with about five people. Okay, maybe it’s not that thick, but cutting it into a bob really must’ve done the trick.
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| Summer 2015 |
Because I had short hair, I always envied the girls who had long and flowing hair in my classes. I became obsessed with growing it out, and it was uber long until I cut it about a month ago. I loved my hair once it was long, and had no desire to cut it. That was all well and good until I started to really rely on it; my hair became my security blanket, and having it long made it easier for me to hide behind it in a way. I never did up-do’s for events like Prom, rather preferred to have it down and curled. I did not feel comfortable having it up because I truly felt naked without it. When I was in one of my best friend’s wedding a couple of summers ago, everyone suggested I put my hair up for the wedding, precisely because I never did. I actually went along with this, and felt super self conscious at first. As the day went on, I got more and more comfortable with it, and I began to put it up a lot more after that.
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| Spring 2014 |
The last couple of times that I’ve gone in to get my haircut, I played around with the idea of cutting all of my hair off, but I never did because I always chickened out. It wasn’t until I got six or seven inches cut off a month ago that I realized I relied on my hair way too much. I felt that it was kind of the last transition I went through in my 2015 journey to loving myself. (Will I ever stop mentioning The Year I Learned How to Love Myself? Probably not…) In order to be comfortable with myself, I wanted to challenge myself, and so I finally made the decision to cut off my hair. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but when you’ve had long hair for most of your life, it’s a big decision! All of my friends said, “Oh it’s just hair, Kendra…” and that was well and good, but to me, my hair had been my security blanket for the last ten years or so.
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| Summer 2015 |
I went to a new hair stylist to get my hair cut, and I’m really glad I did, because she didn’t know that I usually chicken out of cutting my hair. She just said okay, and chopped away. I think I worked myself up so much before, that I had no energy left to feel worried or stress about my decision. (I’m a very indecisive person, if you hadn’t already gathered.) After she cut it, I was so happy! My hair is so much lighter now, and it really fits where I’m at in my life, if that makes sense. I changed a lot last year, and learned just as much. I’m so much more comfortable with myself, and a lot more outgoing, so having short hair just felt right. It’s so much fun to play around with (is it strange that I feel sassier?), and I feel like it makes me look a lot older. It’s also a great decision logistically, since I workout every morning, and simply don’t have the time to deal with fixing long hair. Not that I make too much of an effort with my short hair, but it’s a lot faster to wash and look presentable.
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| The day I got my haircut! December 2015 |
My hair is still auburn, but it’s a lot shorter. I seriously couldn’t be happier with it, even though I can’t braid it anymore. That’s probably the only thing that I miss, but I can braid my hair into half-do’s at least! It’s so cool to have a different length of hair to play around with, instead of my ultra-long hair that I was getting pretty bored with. I think my short hair is around to stay for a while, and it’s a really good thing for me right now! I don’t rely on my hair to hide behind anymore, and having it short makes me feel a lot more confident.
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| January 2016 |
All of my family commented on how much older I look now, and that my this length really suits me. I just couldn’t say enough good things about this decision, and I have no #ragrets. I’m sorry, I had to. This was the perfect way to end 2015, and the transformation of learning to love myself! It forced me to take a different look at myself, and take a risk of absolutely hating my new hair length.
Do you like taking risks with your hair?
Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day! 🙂