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Stnkrbug
Before I get into this post, I just wanted to let you guys know that I got into the study abroad program I applied for in San Sebastián, Spain! I found out on Saturday, so now I’m just waiting to hear back from the London program, and depending on what they say, I’ll choose between the two! At least now I know for sure that I’ll be studying abroad this summer. I am so, so, so excited!! Both locations would be a blast, so I don’t think I can go wrong with either program. Hopefully I hear back from the London program soon, though, so I can decided and start getting ready for the program I choose, because they are both coming up in about 5 months! That really isn’t long, and I like to prepare early, so I’m itching to make a decision.
I also just found out last night that I got into my major, which is International Relations! I am so relieved to finally find out that I got in, because now I can start planning even more for my future. As you all can tell, planning makes me very happy haha. I went out last night with my friends and got ice cream to celebrate, and I ate way too much, but I was too happy to care! I just wanted to update you guys really quickly, because I’m just so happy! 🙂
I also just found out last night that I got into my major, which is International Relations! I am so relieved to finally find out that I got in, because now I can start planning even more for my future. As you all can tell, planning makes me very happy haha. I went out last night with my friends and got ice cream to celebrate, and I ate way too much, but I was too happy to care! I just wanted to update you guys really quickly, because I’m just so happy! 🙂
Now moving on to the post at hand: you may have heard the term “lampshading” here and there, and you’re probably thinking uh, why would I want to look like a lamp? When I first heard of this, I was super confused as to what it actually meant, so I looked around, and I am loving this trend! It just basically refers to wearing an oversized turtleneck sweater, with either tights and boots, or knee high boots. I always wear mine with sweater tights for warmth, but I think they also look so cute with knee high boots! I have really been wanting to get a pair of knee high boots because they can dress up any outfit, and they are just really cute in general.
When it comes to sweaters, I usually always go for more neutral colored ones, so I really wanted to try something new with this electric blue colored one! It’s great to brighten up your wardrobe in the winter, and it makes my hair pop, which is really nice. I got this sweater from H&M.
I usually wear this sweater with my sweater tights from Nordstrom, but it can also be worn with leggings! Whichever you prefer will be really cute, because you can’t go wrong with these sweaters.
I like to wear simple statement jewelry with my sweater, because I want the main focus to be the turtleneck aspect, and the color. Here, I have a couple of my favorite rings: my moon and star one from Tilly’s, my vine ring I always wear, and also a geode ring one of my best friends got me. I like the eclectic collection of all of them when they are put together!
Keeping my hair in a half bun also keeps it out of my face, which is really nice, and adds a little complexity to the look. Turtleneck sweaters also look really nice with your hair pulled slicked back into a ponytail, for a more chic look! I actually did that today with this outfit, and I love how it looks. You can also always go for an effortless down ‘do!
Here, I’m just wearing my classic baby pink bag from Ted Baker, since really anything goes with this sweater. It gives it a bit more of a girly look, but I think pairing this with a dark bag could make it look super cool as well. I was wearing this out during the day, so I tend to go for lighter colored bags when I am running errands. This one also happens to basically contain my life, so it’s easier to grab when I know I’ll need random little keepsakes from my purse.
I like to wear my classic combat boots from Steve Madden with this outfit, because it gives the look a bit more of a grunge style to it, but if you pair different shoes with a turtleneck, it creates a whole different feel to the outfit! Thigh high boots make it look super chic, booties can add a really cute night-out look, and I love my combat boots when I wear this during the day.
Those are my tips on styling an oversized turtleneck sweater, and how to achieve the lampshade trend that everyone is talking about! It’s a bit of a strange urban trend – I’ve seen it a lot in downtown Seattle – but I think it is so cute, and works for everyone. It seriously feels like you’re wearing a blanket all day, and is perfect for a cold winter day when you just want to cuddle in a huge sweater, but still look cute!
Do you like turtleneck sweaters?
Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day! 🙂
I cannot believe it is February already. January really flew by, but overall it was a pretty good start to the year! It was one of the busiest months I’ve had in a while, which probably sets the tone for a very busy year. That is just fine with me, since it means a lot of opportunities! I just turned in my application to my major, as well as two for study abroad programs this summer. I applied to a program in London, and one in San Sebastián, Spain, so hopefully I get one. I will keep you guys posted!
As for today’s post, I’m going to be sharing an outfit that I wear a lot in the winter when I want to look a little more dressed up, or just feel like looking nice!
I thought the Seattle skyline looked so cool in this photo!
As in my Casual Winter Outfit, this is the cowl that I made myself with giant yarn! It is seriously my newest obsession, and I really want to make a blanket out of giant yarn!
My sweater is from Nordstrom, and it is definitely one of the staples in my wardrobe! It goes with most anything, can be dressed up or down, and is super comfortable!
My booties are from Nordstrom Rack, and they are super comfortable! I am super picky with shoe comfort, so I was really happy to find these.
This is the ring that I always wear, and I believe I got it at Tilly’s, but it’s been a long time! It’s a vine ring, and is one of my all-time favorites. I also always forget to take off my Fitbit when I take outfit pictures! The thing never really leaves my wrist, anyway.
My skirt is from H&M, and I love the burgundy color of it. Burgundy and maroon have both been two of my favorite colors clothes-wise for a while now. They are so pretty for the fall and winter, so I try and wear them as much as possible during both seasons!
I’m also wearing sweater tights here from Nordstrom, and ohmygosh if you don’t have sweater tights, you seriously need to get some! They amazingly enough keep you super warm, and they are so soft and cozy. I wear them all the time during the winter, because they allow me to wear cute skirts and dresses that I probably wouldn’t wear otherwise due to the cold!
All in all, this is one of my go-to looks when I want to look more put together, and can’t find an excuse to wear yoga pants and a sweater to something. These colors are all so pretty for winter, and work well really well together.
What do you like to wear in the winter when you have to look more dressed up?
Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day! 🙂
Ahhh, let us all have a collective sigh of relief that it is finally Friday, and that we all have some much needed R&R time. It seems like the weeks get busier and busier as I get farther into college, so weekends are definitely a small blessing in the endless sea of work, tests, and papers. For today’s post, I thought it would be a great idea to talk about de-stressing, and how I do that through yoga. I have been doing yoga a lot lately, and I always feel so fantastic afterwards!
College can be super stressful, and it’s difficult to find time to actually unwind and relax. Whenever I do find time to do nothing, I always feel guilty and like I could be doing something productive. It is a never-ending vicious cycle, and one that makes de-stressing very hard!
There’s a club at my university that is $5 for the whole quarter of yoga, so it’s basically unlimited yoga classes! It’s pretty amazing, and the classes are great because they have fantastic yoga instructors. I have done yoga here and there in the past, but never consistently, and ohmygosh does it do wonders for your body and mind! During the classes, I can feel myself relax into a place where I don’t think of anything else but what I am doing in the current moment. It’s calming as well, which is fantastic for my anxiety.
It can be really hard to be present in the current situation at hand; we are always so worried about the future, and how we handled the past, that we forget to live in the now. This is so important to do, however, because your whole life will pass you by without you even knowing it. Living in the moment is one of my goals this year, because I want to make sure I am making the most out of everyday. I am so guilty of worrying about the future to the point where I’m not even paying attention to the present. Yoga has really put that into perspective for me, because it makes you focus on the here and now.
Okay, I just had to quickly show you guys my new Nike’s as well! I got them for Christmas, and I have been loving them so much. They are so bright and cheery, but also super comfortable!
Look at those pastels, oh my gosh.
If we are talking about the logistics of yoga, I usually wear short or long yoga pants (okay, duh Kendra), with either a flowy long sleeve shirt, or a tank top of some sort.
Shirt: This was a Christmas present, so I don’t actually know where I got it. I think JCPenny’s!
Pants: Lulu Lemon
Shoes: Nike
I am so in love with these pants! The marble print is so cool, and they are really comfortable for yoga.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to make time to relax, and forget about the stress you are feeling. These last couple of weeks have been so difficult and stressful for me. I have been applying to my major, applying for study abroad programs, and I have had a multitude of tests and papers. Basically, it’s just been what every normal college student goes through by their sophomore year! As you get further into college, the stress gets more and more overwhelming, and I am trying to adjust to that. Going to yoga, though, has helped me have at least an hour a day to find time to relax and forget about all of my worries.
Even if it isn’t yoga, find something that de-stresses you, and allows you to have some relaxation time! It is invaluable to have an activity to alleviate stress, so go out and find one, and feel better. Your mental health will thank you.
How do you manage stress?
Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day! 🙂
The weather is still pretty cold here in Seattle, so I have been dressing in layers. My brother actually lives in Virginia, and he has over 26 inches right now, so I really shouldn’t complain about the cold! I cannot believe the snow storm that is happening right now back East, so if you’re there, I hope you are doing well!
I thought it would be good idea to share what I’ve been wearing this winter, so today I’m going to be doing a little OOTD!
I wear this outfit probably every week (oops), but when you’re in college, you tend to recycle OOTD’s pretty frequently!
Scarf: I actually crocheted it myself with giant yarn!
Sweater: Pacsun
T-Shirt: Pacsun
Jeans: Paige jeans from Nordstrom
Shoes: Macy’s
This cowl has been my favorite thing this winter! It’s so chunky and warm, which is perfect for this colder weather we’ve been having! I always feel so much warmer when I have a scarf on, are you the same way?
These shoes are always a go-to for me, because they go with everything! I really need to get a new pair of booties, though, because I’ve had these for so long.
We’ve had a couple of sunny days, so I am really dreading going back to the rain here in the city! The little rays of sunshine that have poked through the clouds have been so nice, and I’m excited for the spring, even though I have been loving giant sweaters and scarves!
What have you been wearing this winter?
Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day! 🙂
I have never done a giveaway on my blog, so I have some very exciting news: I’ve linked up with a couple of other bloggers to host a giveaway worth $300! I thought this would be a really great way just to show how grateful I am to all of my readers, and also a wonderful way to start off the new year. Shall we get to the prizes?!
How pretty is this pallet?! I have swatched it, and these colors are so opaque and gorgeous. I don’t personally have this Naked pallet (I wish I did!), but I have the Naked 1 and 3, and they are two of my favorites! Urban Decay makes such good eyeshadows.
Wrap bracelets are super popular right now, and the black, white, and gold combo is so gorgeous and timeless!
I also really love the clear glass bead; it makes these bracelets look so graceful!
Okay, can we talk about how cute this mug is? I love the meaning behind this saying, because hard work often goes unnoticed! Good things really do come to those who work for them, and that reminder on a coffee mug (a.k.a. life in the morning) is perfect.
This is one of my favorite face masks. Ever. In fact, I just used it today after my shower! I use this once or twice a week, and it keeps my skin radiant! I always notice a difference after I use it, and it really helps to keep my pores nice and clean. Plus, it’s always nice to have a face mask on hand for pamper nights!
On top of all of these products, you will also win a $150 Visa gift card, and $10 Starbucks gift card! Overall, this prize package is worth $300, which is amazing! So, how do you enter? Just follow the directions in this nifty little box, and follow all of the other bloggers in the giveaway! Also, the giveaway ends at 12 AM on Tuesday, January 26th! Have fun, and good luck! 🙂
I always hated running while growing up; I was a swimmer and a dancer, so running was never an activity that I had to do outside of P.E. during school. I dreaded the mile runs that we would have to do throughout the year, and I knew I would end up having an asthma attack at the end. That was part of the reason why I never ran, because I had asthma pretty badly while growing up. As I’ve gotten older, my asthma has gotten a lot better, and I only have to use my inhaler when I’m sick, or run outside.
When I got to college, I decided I would start running, because I no longer had my swim team to keep me in shape. To preface this, I also had this irrational fear of treadmills, because I was convinced I would end up falling off tragically. I haven’t yet (knock on wood!), so all is well with that. I ended up starting to love running, and I was shocked. Running used to be the absolute bane of my existence, but now I look forward to my morning runs. I know there are a lot of people out there who hate running as well, but I really wanted to write this post on how I started to love it! So, here is my guide to how to enjoy running.
Start out slow
I think one of the biggest reasons why I hated running when I was younger was trying too much in too little time. I would throw myself into it full force, and not give myself a break. I like to really push myself when it comes to physical activity and working out, and it frustrated me so much when I couldn’t run for miles on end, or very quickly at all. When I started to run last year, I did a lot of HIIT workouts (High Intensity Interval Training) for beginning runners. Those helped a lot, because I was able to push myself for a couple of minutes, and then take a much needed rest. This really helped to build up my endurance, and I was still able to get a good workout in. I still do HIIT’s on the treadmill to this day!
Don’t go into it with a negative mindset
This goes for everything in life, but if you are already dreading a run, you are going to be miserable the whole time. You will be counting down the minutes to being done, and you will hate every second of it. It really helps to keep an open mind about it, so you will actually enjoy the run. Running can be very therapeutic, and it provides you with a lot of time to think about anything in your life. It also releases endorphin’s, so you will be happy afterwards! If you are absolutely unable to not dread the run, just think of how good you will feel afterwards! Which leads me into my next point…
Think of how great you will feel
I always feel so great after workouts, so the initial getting out of bed part is a little bit easier when I realize I will feel better afterwards. Running, and exercise in general, is a huge stress reliever. This is so important in college, because stress and worrying can quickly consume your life. For me, I feel so de-stressed after a workout, and I am ready to take on anything. That’s why I like working out in the morning; I start out the day happy from the workout, and with so much more fresh energy to tackle classes, work, tests, papers, homework…the list goes on and on.
Take it day by day
When trying to get better at something, it can be very easy to get frustrated for not improving over night. I am guilty of this, because I like to improve quickly, and it drives me insane when I can’t get something down. Gaining endurance for running takes time, and actually enjoying it does as well, especially if you don’t particularly like it. You can’t just give up after a week and you still don’t feel like it comes easily, or that you still hate it. Trust me, it’s going to take you a while to love running, but it’s really worth it!
Make sure you have good running shoes
Being physically comfortable while running is very important. If you don’t have good running shoes, your feet will definitely tell you the next day. It’s super important to make sure that your feet are well-supported, because it can cause a lot of issues later down the road. I have a couple pairs of Nike Free’s for running, and I really love them. Some people don’t like Nike’s, and that’s totally fine because there are a ton of different brands out there! Some of my friends swear by Brooks running shoes, so I would just look around and find your favorite pair! Try and get your foot fitted by the store, since sizes vary a lot.
Go on runs with friends
If you have friends who are trying to get into running as well, go on a run with them! This can be intimidating at first because you might be scared you can’t keep up with them, but just explain to them that you are a beginner and may need to go slow or stop often. I’m sure they will be totally fine with that, and it can be really fun to exercise with friends. This will help you enjoy running more, because you will be able to be social while doing it, and you can grab breakfast/lunch/dinner together afterwards!
Put together a great soundtrack
I love blasting fun, upbeat music while I’m running, because it really helps to pump me up! There are tons of workout playlists out there, so you can listen to one of those, or make your own! I like to just listen to my iTunes library, because I have a lot of upbeat songs on there, and my personal favorite bands to listen to while running are Bastille, Imagine Dragons, or basically any popular pop songs.
Alternatively, if you are running on the treadmill, you could watch Netflix or Hulu
I love to do this, because I don’t have a lot of time to stay caught up on my favorite TV shows, being a busy college student. This way, I can watch TV and run at the same time, so it’s really a win-win situation.
Do you like running?
Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful weekend! 🙂
If you’ve been following my blog for a while now, you know that I’ve had long hair for the greater part of my life. I started growing it out around fifth grade because I always had short hair when I was younger. My mom always cut it into a bob to thicken it up because I had thin hair when I was a wee little tot, and that backfired because now I have enough hair to share with about five people. Okay, maybe it’s not that thick, but cutting it into a bob really must’ve done the trick.
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| Summer 2015 |
Because I had short hair, I always envied the girls who had long and flowing hair in my classes. I became obsessed with growing it out, and it was uber long until I cut it about a month ago. I loved my hair once it was long, and had no desire to cut it. That was all well and good until I started to really rely on it; my hair became my security blanket, and having it long made it easier for me to hide behind it in a way. I never did up-do’s for events like Prom, rather preferred to have it down and curled. I did not feel comfortable having it up because I truly felt naked without it. When I was in one of my best friend’s wedding a couple of summers ago, everyone suggested I put my hair up for the wedding, precisely because I never did. I actually went along with this, and felt super self conscious at first. As the day went on, I got more and more comfortable with it, and I began to put it up a lot more after that.
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| Spring 2014 |
The last couple of times that I’ve gone in to get my haircut, I played around with the idea of cutting all of my hair off, but I never did because I always chickened out. It wasn’t until I got six or seven inches cut off a month ago that I realized I relied on my hair way too much. I felt that it was kind of the last transition I went through in my 2015 journey to loving myself. (Will I ever stop mentioning The Year I Learned How to Love Myself? Probably not…) In order to be comfortable with myself, I wanted to challenge myself, and so I finally made the decision to cut off my hair. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but when you’ve had long hair for most of your life, it’s a big decision! All of my friends said, “Oh it’s just hair, Kendra…” and that was well and good, but to me, my hair had been my security blanket for the last ten years or so.
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| Summer 2015 |
I went to a new hair stylist to get my hair cut, and I’m really glad I did, because she didn’t know that I usually chicken out of cutting my hair. She just said okay, and chopped away. I think I worked myself up so much before, that I had no energy left to feel worried or stress about my decision. (I’m a very indecisive person, if you hadn’t already gathered.) After she cut it, I was so happy! My hair is so much lighter now, and it really fits where I’m at in my life, if that makes sense. I changed a lot last year, and learned just as much. I’m so much more comfortable with myself, and a lot more outgoing, so having short hair just felt right. It’s so much fun to play around with (is it strange that I feel sassier?), and I feel like it makes me look a lot older. It’s also a great decision logistically, since I workout every morning, and simply don’t have the time to deal with fixing long hair. Not that I make too much of an effort with my short hair, but it’s a lot faster to wash and look presentable.
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| The day I got my haircut! December 2015 |
My hair is still auburn, but it’s a lot shorter. I seriously couldn’t be happier with it, even though I can’t braid it anymore. That’s probably the only thing that I miss, but I can braid my hair into half-do’s at least! It’s so cool to have a different length of hair to play around with, instead of my ultra-long hair that I was getting pretty bored with. I think my short hair is around to stay for a while, and it’s a really good thing for me right now! I don’t rely on my hair to hide behind anymore, and having it short makes me feel a lot more confident.
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| January 2016 |
All of my family commented on how much older I look now, and that my this length really suits me. I just couldn’t say enough good things about this decision, and I have no #ragrets. I’m sorry, I had to. This was the perfect way to end 2015, and the transformation of learning to love myself! It forced me to take a different look at myself, and take a risk of absolutely hating my new hair length.
Do you like taking risks with your hair?
Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day! 🙂
2015 was a year of growth for me. I was able to learn how to love myself (see my post on that here and my video here), gain a much more positive outlook on life, and it was a year of growth for myself in general. I want 2016 to continue with that pace, and to be an incredible year. I’m going to try my hardest with everything I do, and I have big plans for my blog and channel. I thought it would be a good idea to put my goals up on my blog, just to be able to check back on for myself, and to share them with you! So, here they are.
For my blog and YouTube channel:
1. Stay consistent. I am going to post one video a week on my channel, and try to post at least twice a week on my blog.
2. Schedule my time out so I am able to keep this consistency.
3. Make sure ahead of time that I have posts and videos ready – that way I know I will always have something to post when life gets crazy.
For my life in general:
1. Schedule my time out, so I stay on top of school.
2. Remain positive about myself, and my life.
3. Continue to love myself, and be comfortable in my own skin.
4. Forgive myself, and give myself a break when I make mistakes or have a hard day.
5. Spread positivity to those around me.
I like to call my aspirations for the year “goals” instead of “resolutions,” even though they basically mean the same thing. It makes me feel like I’m striving towards something throughout the whole year, and makes me work harder. Call them what you will, I think it’s important to set intentions for the beginning of the year so you feel like you’re working towards something, and don’t feel lost!
Check out the video I did on my goals as well! 🙂
What are your goals?
Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day! 🙂
2015 was a very important year for me, and I’ve been working on a special project for a while now. Today, the last day of 2015, is the day I decided to post this video and blog post, and I can’t believe it’s finally here. I have really poured my heart and soul into this project, and I’m so proud of how it came out. I made a video, and wrote a longer explanation post, so check both out, and let me know what you think! I hope you like it!
Loving yourself does not come easy. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do, but have never felt like I had the ability to. Because of this, one of my goals for 2015 was to learn how to love myself. I knew it would be hard, but I at least wanted to try.
I have never felt comfortable in my own skin, and I always compare myself to others about everything: thoughts like “that girl has tanner skin than me”, “look at her tiny waist”, or “my arms will never look like hers,” constantly fill my head. I’ve always been insecure about my body, and myself in general. My body image has also never been good, and I especially struggled with it while growing up.
When I was 12 years old, I was bullied by a boy in my class. He called me fat each and everyday, which was one of my biggest insecurities. I wasn’t fat by any means – I was a dancer who had muscles in order to enable my body to do the sport that I loved. I mean sure, I wasn’t the tallest or thinnest girl in my class, but I come from a short family, so long and model thin legs were never going to be in my future. That was okay, but as a young girl going to school, being told that I was fat by a boy in my class hit home, and I started to truly believe it. He didn’t know that I spent hours each day at my dance studio to improve my dancing, all he saw was that I was different from the other girls. I also read too much according to him, and he thought it was strange that I was so much quieter than everyone else. I was never the loud one in my friend group, and they all had no idea just how much I hated myself and my body.
I started wearing sweatshirts to school every single day in order to cover up my insecurities. The sweatshirts to me were like a shield against everyone else; they cocooned my body so no one could really see it, and they made it easier for me to not stick out in class. If I could just hide myself from that boy and everyone else, I thought, eventually the voice inside my head constantly putting me down would stop. It didn’t, and if anything it made it worse. With the extra baggage over myself, the boy realized his words had an impact, which to bullies, realizing they are actually hurting someone is like striking gold. His remarks only got meaner, and he put me down every chance he got.
I never told anyone, even my family who was extremely close and supportive of me, that I was getting bullied, or that I hated myself. I wouldn’t even look in the mirror because I was afraid of what I would see, and I avoided the camera at all costs. My mom and I would pick the cutest outfits out for school, but I would always put a sweatshirt over them and tell her I’d just take it off when the day warmed up. That time never came, of course, and I kept the sweatshirts on the whole day, no matter how warm I was. They were my security blanket, and they hid me from everyone else. I don’t think anyone realized just how insecure I was about my body, or how inadequate I felt. It didn’t help that I had the meanest teacher in our grade, whom was sexist against girls and constantly put us down while praising the boys in the class. This only empowered my bully because he felt so untouchable.
My struggle with my insecurities continued on for the whole year, but between the summer of sixth and seventh grade, I took off my sweatshirt in front of my friends because it was so warm. They were so shocked at seeing me without my second skin, and it was in that moment that I realized just how crazy it was that I had been wearing them every single day for a year and a half.
I went into middle school and discovered makeup, which I loved to play around with. I probably wore way too much to school, but it was something that I loved and made me feel more confident. I started wearing those cute clothes my mom and I picked out, without covering up with a sweatshirt everyday. I switched from dance to cheer (a decision I now regret), and ended up finding a best friend. I had also met two girls in orchestra, who would later become two of my closest friends in the entire world. My confidence kept getting better and better, and by the time I was a freshman in high school, it had vastly improved from when I was 12.
Freshman year arrived quickly, and with it came many ups and downs. I quit cheer, a decision I am very happy with, and decided to join the swim team full time (I had swam on and off my whole life). It was something I was good at and something that I absolutely loved. I found wonderful friends who were fun and exactly what I needed at the time. They were accepting and supportive, and I’ll always be grateful to them for letting me into their close-knit group. For the most part, the year was great, and I started liking myself more.
The end of the year was where the down started. My best friend at the time, the girl I met cheerleading, started acting like a completely different person from the one I got so close to. Our friendship ended, not horribly, but not on a good note either, and I spent the summer being pretty lost. I’m grateful to her for being there with me in middle school, and we truly did have great memories from that time. I was able to go through those two years with someone who accepted me, and no matter who the person she is today, the girl I was best friends with was wonderful.
That summer was hard for me because I had just lost my best friend, and I felt so lonely. I started hanging out with two other girls, however, and found the best friendships I’ve ever had. Joycie and Rachel were there for me in a way they probably don’t realize; I could literally be the weirdest person in the world and there was never any hesitation on their part that we were sisters in all but blood. They were my best friends then, now, and will be always, and I can’t thank them enough. Because of their total acceptance of all my weird quirks (trust me, there’s a lot), I was able to start accepting myself as well. I thought if these two girls don’t care about my faults, why should I? With them, my supportive family, my friends from swim, and swim itself, I was in the best place I had ever been.
The rest of high school was both good and bad – as all experiences with high school are – and my confidence varied from time to time. I took hard classes with incredible teachers, and my love for English, Spanish, and learning about different places across the globe solidified. I got my first serious boyfriend at the end of junior year, but it wasn’t the best relationship. He made me feel lesser in every way; less beautiful, less smart, and less of a person in general. I don’t think he called me beautiful once, but I also learned that our relationship was not what healthy ones were like. It was short-lived, luckily, and I actually learned a lot about myself through the mistakes that we both made. Ending the relationship made me stronger and more confident because I learned how to stick up for myself.
The summer before college was spent making memories with my best friends, and we had a blast. I was nervous going into college because I was afraid I would be homesick every day, not be able to do well in my classes, or that I wouldn’t find a solid group of friends. None of these things happened, and though freshman year wasn’t everything that I expected it or wanted it to be, it was everything that I needed, and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. I made awesome friends, and ended up absolutely loving it there (and I still do today!).
I came out of winter break and into the new year, 2015, worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep up this track of being happy with myself. So, that’s why one of my goals was to learn how to truly love myself. I have always loved the idea of self-love, and thought I would achieve that when I looked or felt a certain way. I thought that when or if I got a gorgeous guy’s attention by looking the way I had always wanted, it would all just click for me, and bam I would love myself. Well, ladies and gents that is not how it works. Like any relationship, loving yourself takes time and effort, and you have to love yourself before you can love others.
You would think it’d be easy to get to know yourself because, hello, it’s not like you haven’t met yourself, but it is hard work. Loving every single part is hard, hard work. You have to love the quirks and “faults” as well as your best qualities. Let me just say, though, your quirks and shortcomings can be some of the most beautiful parts of you. They are what set you apart from everyone, so make sure to give those parts some extra lovin’.
Body image is also a huge part of self-love. I have always had horrible body image; I’ll be the first to admit it. I saw my body as a failure because I wasn’t the tallest and thinnest girl out there. Again, comparison comes into play here big time. I compared my body to probably everyone I met, which was not a healthy thing to do at all. No, I don’t have model long legs, or world-class abs like Olympic stars; however, instead of thinking of these things as failures, I choose to love my body as it is. Sure, I work out everyday to stay in shape, and simply because I enjoy working out, but I no longer think “I’ll love my body when…” because that isn’t how anyone should think. I work out and eat right because I love my body. It does amazing things for me, and allows me to pursue the crazy dreams and goals I have. It lets me see the people I love, and go on adventures with. I can see all of the incredible sights this world has to offer because of my body, whether or not I have the “perfect” one, if there is such a thing. Our bodies do some pretty crazy things, and allow us to live this life we’re given. To not love it is a half-life; doing awesome things, but not appreciating the vessel we can do them in. I know I’m not the prettiest girl in the world, but there’s no one else out there like me, and there’s no one else out there like you. You are the only person who can be you, so never compare yourself to others. They are living out a completely different story to yours, so of course they’re going to be different.
My journey to self-love was a long and hard one, as they so often are. It’s hard to love yourself when there are people telling you that you won’t amount to anything, that you aren’t anything special, or that you’re ugly. We’re all special in our own ways, and you get to decide how far you go in life, not other people. Yes, there are going to be hard things for you to go through, but you react in the way that you want to, ultimately. You can let those people knock you down, or you can try your hardest to prove them wrong. I hope one day I can simply tell that boy from grade school that I made my dreams come true, despite how hard he tried to crush them, and that I love my body now. Please, please, please, don’t ever let anyone stop you from doing what you love. Regardless of whether or not your dreams are the “right” ones, or if they’re “too big” for you to reach, at least try. Honestly, what is the hurt in trying? You will truly never know if you can make it, if you don’t ever try. And don’t just give half the effort – fully and truly go for your dreams with all you’ve got. We get to decide what we do with this life, so you might as well do as much as you can.
So, the reason for this long, long rant is for you to realize that loving yourself is one of the best things that could happen to you. It takes a lot of time and effort, but the best relationships do. Start with small things, and work up to the bigger and harder things. And please also realize your body is beautiful – flaws included. They are what make you unique and interesting, and what set you apart from others. Never compare your body to others, or feel like it isn’t good enough. I mean really, just ask yourself, what is it not good enough for?
Thank you SO much for reading and watching, and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Merry Christmas Eve, Eve!
Every year, my parents ask me for a Christmas list, and in recent years they have changed a lot! There are a lot less toys, and receiving socks is now one of the highlights of my Christmas mornings. Whereas getting clothes as a kid was not cool at all, I love it now. Since Christmas is only a couple of days away (what?!) I thought I would share what’s on my list this year!
Every year, my parents ask me for a Christmas list, and in recent years they have changed a lot! There are a lot less toys, and receiving socks is now one of the highlights of my Christmas mornings. Whereas getting clothes as a kid was not cool at all, I love it now. Since Christmas is only a couple of days away (what?!) I thought I would share what’s on my list this year!
1. Gray socks
Is it weird that gray socks are seriously my favorite thing in the world? There is something about them that I absolutely love, and I am always in need of cozy socks!
2. Nike Frees
I’ve had my trusty Nike’s for a couple of years now, so I think it’s due time to get a new pair! I’m running a whole lot more lately, so I desperately need another pair to switch around with.
3. The illustrated copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
I was thumbing through a copy the other day, and ohmygosh is it gorgeous! I’m a total Harry Potter fanatic, so I’ve been dying to get my hands on it!
4. Ecosphere
These things are so cool!
They are an enclosed glass bowl (or in this case, oval), and contain microorganisms and shrimp that don’t need anything from the outside! I love the environment, so this thing is so fascinating to me.
5. Booties
My favorite pair of flat booties have finally bit the dust, so it’s time to get a new pair, as much as it pains me. I have a pair with heels, but I like flat ones for day-to-day wear since they’re a lot more comfortable.
6. Pink Sugar Perfume
This is my all-time favorite scent, and I’ve been out of it for a couple of years, so I really wanted another bottle. I smelled it somewhere a little while back, and now I’ve really been missing it!
7. Bralettes
I have been wearing bralettes non-stop because they’re so comfortable – it seriously feels like you’re not wearing a bra!
8. DSLR Camera Stabilizer
These guys are great for filming, because they create a much smother and stable image for things like landscape shots.
9. Over-sized turtleneck sweater
I have seen so many celebrities wearing these lately, and I think they are so cute! They are so easy to make an outfit out of, and are super comfy for the winter.
10. Tickets to the opening of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Los Angeles
I am so excited for the Wizarding World of Harry Potter to open in Los Angeles, because it’s much closer than Orlando! It would be so incredible to go for the opening weekend, but I figure that’s probably not going to happen. A girl can dream, though!
Well, that is everything that is on my grown up Christmas list! I’m so excited for Christmas, and I can’t wait to give my family and friends what they want for Christmas! Seeing my loved ones’ faces light up when they open up their presents on Christmas is truly my favorite part of the day. We’re getting so close! Looking at Spring also really helped me to create my Christmas list this year!
What’s on your Christmas list this year?
Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day! 🙂